Miss Zoogeniality
by Whiskers Duo
Summary: The annual Ms. Zootopia pageant is nearly here, but the organizers have received disturbing threats and are worried that one of the contestants will be targeted. Officer Nick Wilde volunteers Officer Judy Hopps to go undercover and participate in the pageant. However, Judy dislikes beauty contests and decides to drag Nick with her as her assistant. Parody of Miss Congeniality.


July 14, 2017

Zootopia Police Department (ZPD) – Precinct 1 Briefing Room

* * *

Officers Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde sat in their usual seats at the front of the briefing room and were waiting patiently for today's agenda by Chief Bogo. After the Missing Mammals case and the Night-Howler incident, Judy and Nick maintained a healthy cordial relationship. Although Nick occasionally caused trouble with his antics, Judy still tolerated him because Nick was a good friend and always supported her. However, her tolerance would be tested on this particular day.

"Okay, everyone settle down," boomed Chief Bogo as he approached the podium at the front. "We just got a request from our Undercover Unit. According to them, disturbing threats have been made to the Ms. Zootopia Pageant. They have reason to believe that one of the contestants will be targeted for reasons unknown."

The Ms. Zootopia Pageant was a popular annual beauty contest for female animals. The preliminary round was an open contest and many females of different species usually participated. Contestants would be judged on various factors and those selected would advance to the actual pageant. In previous contests, judges selected females who they believe would be competitive and able to generate gossip. More gossip meant more viewership, which would mean more money for the producers.

After the open round, the real competition begins. Besides the standard vanity aspect, contestants typically answer open-ended questions and engage in one or two activities to demonstrate their qualities such as humility and grace. The celebrity judges evaluate the contestants based on the entire competition and the most "beautiful" animal would be crowned Ms. Zootopia by last year's winner.

"Therefore," Chief Bogo continued, "The Undercover Unit is looking for a female volunteer to join the competition and discover who is being targeted and by whom. The volunteer will be exempt from their current duties. Do we have any volunteer?"

There was a long silence as none of the female officers wanted to volunteer. They were gazing around the room, trying their best not to make eye contact with anyone. They understandably felt uncomfortable since Zootopia's beauty pageants were often superficial and were usually catered towards male audience. Furthermore, the pageant would be televised and streamed live to millions of viewers in Zootopia.

 _This is so dumb._ Thought Judy. _Why would anyone volunteer for such a shallow-_

"Officer Hopps would gladly do it!" exclaimed Nick with a sly grin. "She always wanted to be Ms. Zootopia when she was kid."

Judy quickly turned her head to Nick and gave him an exasperated and confused "what-the-heck-are you-doing" look. Before she could protest, Chief Bogo exclaimed, "Excellent Officer Hopps. I knew the ZPD could count on you, especially after you handle the Missing Mammals case with ease. Now I must mention that the contest involves three sections. The first one is, of course, the swimsuit section."

Several male officers in the room snickered but immediately stopped once Chief Bogo deliberately cleared his throat to show his contempt. Part of Judy wanted to jump into the nearest hole to avoid any further embarrassment while the other part wanted to kill Nick for embarrassing her in front of her colleagues. Since both options were not realistic, she just placed her head on the desk with her ears covering the front.

 _Please tell me this isn't happening._ Thought Judy as she sulked.

"The second section," Chief Bogo continued, "is the Talent Competition and the third and last section is Formal Night, which requires a dancing partner. Judy, since you are competing, you get to select your dance partner."

With her face still planted on the table, Judy's ears immediately perked up like two antennas. At the same time, Nick's sly face immediately turned into horror. His eyes widen and his usual happy-go-lucky smile disappeared. He slowly turned his head to Judy and saw the most devious grin on Judy's face. Nick shook his head and paws, non-verbally begging to Judy not to select him. However, Judy had already decided that she would drag Nick down the rabbit hole with her.

"Well," Judy began in a sarcastic voice, "I am so _honoured_ to be selected as a contestant for Ms. Zootopia. And I wouldn't have got this _rare_ and _special_ opportunity without Officer Wilde here. Isn't that right, Officer Wilde? Therefore, it seems natural that I pick Officer Wilde as my dance partner."

Nick immediately planted his face on the desk with a loud thud, covering his ears with his paws. Despite his best efforts, he could not silence the howling laughter from his fellow officers.

"Hey Nick! You two make a fine couple!" joked an officer who nearly fell off his chair.

"I can't wait to watch the formal night section! I'm definitely taping that!" teased another.

Chief Bogo, who was quietly chuckling at the thought of Nick slow dancing, calmed everyone down. "I am sure you two will be fine in the competition," he said. "Officers Hopps and Wilde, you know the mission. Infiltrate the pageant and find out who is sending the threats. The Undercover Unit will be in touch with you two shortly. You two may go now and start preparing. Everyone else, remain in your seats to hear your assignments for today."

Judy, who took some consolation in her revenge on Nick, left the room while Nick was trailing behind her with his paws hiding his face.

 _What the hippopotamus did I just do?_ Thought Nick as he exited the room.


End file.
